


Within my heart

by aelmer6



Category: One Piece
Genre: Amnesia, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, M/M, Memory Loss, Mental Institutions, Nightmares, Slow Build, Swearing, a bit gory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-30 11:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6422617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelmer6/pseuds/aelmer6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even after a second chance, they still found him. Sanji lost it all; even his mind. Law is a surgeon, but after a heart transplant, he ends up learning more about this curious blond than expected. Sanji's lost memory might hold the key to Law's revenge and Law might hold the key to Sanji's memories. Lies are uncovered, lost memories recovered and broken hearts begin to mend. Strangers become friends and friends become lovers within the beat of a heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude- The Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not forgetting The Resistance but I wanted to get a start on this story. The title is from the Dead by April song Within my Heart since it seemed to fit. Not betaed but you're welcome to point out mistakes. More will come soon; this is just a precursor. And The Resistance should be back next week. I try to update on Thursdays, generally.

“Only six, yet so talented.” The voice is sickening; slimy.

“Yes, we’re so proud, aren’t we dear?” She was far from proud but knew how to swallow her pride and lie like a dog.

“For a while he had me a bit worried, but Sanji is doing much better now.” He, however, wasn’t telling falsehoods. Why would he? His child was manifesting into the perfect son, fit to take on the family trade.

“Oh Sanji, there you are dear. Run along and wash that blood off before you drip it everywhere.” Her son’s only response was to nod and bow slightly before rushing up one of the marble staircases.

“He’s going to have to start making clean kills soon, though.”

“I’m sure he’s grow out of it soon dear. Maybe even by his seventh, I dare say.” She said in a calming tone.

“Yes, now if you’ll excuse us dear, we have some business to finish up before supper.”

“Of course.” Lips pressed to his face, giving him a peck before moving to the stairs, gliding a hand along the banister.

 

-0-

 

“Mamma, why do they bleed so much?”

“Because they’re human, love.”

“Am I human, mamma?”

“Of course!”

“Then why do we kill them?” His small head cocked to the side, confusion written across him features.

“Because… this world is wrong.”

“Am I wrong, mamma?”

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

 

-0-

 

“Mamma, what are you doing?”

“I’m so sorry; but you know too much. To live… you have to die Sanji.”

“Mamma?”

“I-I love you, baby.” Choking out those last words she pulled the trigger.


	2. Heartbeats

Faces pass in and out of the murky liquid, not truly there, but real enough to the golden eyes staring at them. He had picked up the mug for a drink, but after a sip Law couldn’t look away. Feathers surrounded faces, haunting eyes, both of his enemy and of a lost loved one. Unconsciously he nuzzled further into his sweatshirt, the feathers around the neckline tickling his face.

Ah, the feathers, something of a legacy, really. Law had adopted Corazon’s choice of color. The other, pink, was a bit gaudy for him, besides, it brought bad memories. And he didn’t need to help them, they came on their own. Slipping into his waking hours and lurking at the corners of unconsciousness.

“Oi, Trafalgar. Got a live one.” His head snapped up at the sound of Dellinger’s shrill voice. The guy was annoying on a good day, so Law generally tried to avoid the high-heeled receptionist at all cost. Even if it meant joining Nami in an elevator (which is how he got stuck here at such an ungodly hour). But tonight he was on graveyard shift, something that didn’t do much for his already lacking sanity, and his want for company won out over his dislike of the blonde.

Law rose, setting down his mug by the stack of papers he had barely touched, and walked out of the back room to come see the “live one,” as Dellinger had so eloquently put it.

The first thing he noticed was the furiously thrashing man strapped to a gurney. _Did they even bother to sedate him?_ Secondly, he noticed the pair standing beside the gurney.

“Kalifa, Kaku.” He nodded first to the blonde woman with wire-rimmed glasses before doing the same to the ginger haired man on her left. “It’s been a while, you must be getting rusty if you left one alive.” Law’s ever present frown deepened. Dellinger just rolled his eyes at the hostile exchange and retreated into the small room Law had just vacated.

“Skip the pleasantries, Trafalgar and move.” She gestured for him to help Kaku, a quiet man with a remarkable nose, roll the gurney. He looked at her questioningly as he moved, waiting for an explanation. “Heart failure after a physiological relapse. Fresh heart’s lined up and waiting. Oh, and Law,” She tittered out the last bit, voice becoming altogether too sweet.

“What?” Law snapped back at her, tired, pissed, and not in the mood for her shit.

“That’s sexual harass-“

Promptly drowning out the rest, they turned another corner. “Don’t fuck it up; they want him alive. Any failure’s on your head.” Kaku delivered the warning/threat like one would discuss the weather. It seemed the long nose was in a similar mood to his own.

 

-0-

 

Night. Quiet. Home. Despite these ideal conditions, Law couldn’t sleep. The heart he had held only hours ago was still beating in his mind. He’d held and worked on more than his fair share of hearts and other organs before, but they’d never stayed with him like this.

Sanji- the name of the heart’s host. He had blond hair, peculiarly curled eyebrows, and a heart that had stopped beating in Law’s hands. Like a fresh corpse- warm and dead. It also had a silver tinted vein running through it. Strange.

Upon waking up, the blond also proved to be rather peculiar. He had answered Law’s questions; still a bit sluggish from the anesthesia. Law had expected him to be pleased when he deemed the surgery a success, but Sanji had simply stared at him. Stared before a slow slime crept onto his face, not a happy smile, just a curve of the lips.

“It fits wrong, but it will do.” Sanji’s words bounced around his head, slamming against the walls of his skull, forcing him to ponder them. The heart had been a match and his body was showing no signs of rejecting it. Could he feel the difference? Was it wrong in a medical sense, or some other way?

When sleep finally wrapped her arms around him, she breathed the usual nightmares into his mind. Feathers; black and pink. Faces; new and old. But this time, she also brought silver hearts.

 

-0-

 

Some people say drowning is peaceful, maybe even beautiful. Others say it’s maddening, horrible, and above all, unbelievably painful. But this isn’t water, this isn’t normal drowning. It’s suffocating, your heart being crushed into nothing. This is screaming into silence; this is being taken over by fear and pain; it’s haunting nights and hopeless days; it’s clutching your head, trying to silence the thoughts, and sobbing tears you didn’t know you had left; it’s being nothing, slamming on walls just for the pain. This is what your sadness made you; staying halfway dead for too long. This is all you know. This is depression. Drowning could never hope to compare.

 

-0-

 

Howling- the hopeless sound he made as a bullet ripped through Corazon. Law knew this scene, saw it happen years ago and relived it enough to break him. And it would, he couldn’t take this forever. But for now, he did. He watched his loved ones crumble over and over.

His hand reached for his chest. _I can’t stay halfway dead forever. So why not go all the way._ Blood fell into the darkness that surrounded him as a trembling hand pulled out its owner’s still beating heart. Golden eyes stare at the bloody organ. _Stop beating._ But blood pumped through it again and again, still beating; still alive.

“STOP!” Law’s desperate scream echoed into the nothing as his hand tightens. Clenching his heart tightly, ready to stop it himself.

Nothing happened. Tattooed fingers peeled away from his heart at a painfully slow rate. It beat. Once. Twice. He watched, stunned, as silver slowly colors the veins. Every drop of blood carried the color further through his beating heart. It doesn’t stop until every inch is colored in silver. The color defines the organ; the muscle. Only then does his heart finally stop beating. Warm and dead in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. That was more depressing than I had intended. Thank you doughnutsandcoffee for the comment, sorry this is a bit late. Anyways, the story it going to be from Law's perspective for a couple reasons. One, cause I want Sanji to be a mystery that's unraveled throughout the story. And two, because I have depression but am not insane (yet), so writing Law's mind is easier for me. Another thing, no; I did not kill Law in the first chapter (nor do I intend to kill him at all), for those of you who didn't catch on, that was a dream. Chapter title is from Heartbeats by Nine Lashes and I wrote this chapter while listening to Supposed To Be (by Icon For Hire) on repeat. Thanks for kudos and comments, they're always appreciated <3


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